Love yourself first

I don’t know if it’s called self love
when you smile, peering through your red swollen eyes
in the mirror after a long breakdown
telling yourself you’ve been strong
and it’s okay to let your fragility take over for a while;
For me, this is acceptance.

Accepting that it’s illogical to put up with happiness every time,
that you hit your lows with full speed and you scatter
when you can’t bear pain
and it’s fine to be in pieces
because being whole is just too much for you lately
so you break down.
Accepting that tears are a form of care,
and you should scatter once in a while to trash your thoughts off
because being strong every time with a happy face is so hoax.
And obsessing over mental peace is something you should pledge on,
for yourself.

How can one love their body when it’s so stained
that every scar refreshes the hurt it has, everytime you look at it.
Or that webbing mind which spins a million thoughts at a time
and it’s hard to love oneself when you’ve spent night after night
cutting your flesh because it’s a pound extra to fit into that perfect dress.

Love doesn’t happen in a day, for others or even for yourself.
You plant love within you, for yourself to bloom.
You affirm, manifesting your worth.
You breathe, when temper shortens.
You take hold, when you slip through.
You smile genuine, to never mask on.
You cry often, to trash thoughts.
You unlearn, what doesn’t serve you to grow.
You allow, when someone tries to help you bloom.
You believe, in what you can possess.
You deserve, beyond what your anxiety tells you.
You live, outside the four walls.
You make mistakes because that’s very human of you.
But most importantly,
You glow even in the dark
because you have shine within you.
You need not stop to search for light,
You have it within in abundance.
So stop reaching for the light at the end of the tunnel
because you are the source of what makes you bright.